Your Teenager’s Independence
As your child is becoming a teenager, he will demand for more privacy and independence. He will try to make the decisions on his own – from simple things like what clothes to wear or food to eat, to sports and hobbies.
His room will become his heaven – the place where he spends the most of the time. Personal interests and attitudes will become obvious by posters or sticker on the wall, by the music he listens, or the way that he dresses. Intimate stuff, like the first kiss or holding hands, will probably be written down in a diary.
All these changes will be new to you. If you are not sure how to approach your child-teenager, here are some important rules.
Golden rules for parents
• Respect your child’s privacy –always knock on the door and wait for his answer.
• Don’t ever read your child’s diary, e-mail, or messages in cell phone.
• Don’t clean up his room, unless it’s necessary.
• Support your child’s decisions as much as you can – remember all your fashion “mismatches” and funny haircuts.
• Keep your patience for the things that really matter to family.
• Accept your child’s problems and dilemmas seriously. Your teenager’s problems may seem irrelevant and silly to you, in fact those are the question of “life and death” to him. Keep the seriousness on and listen carefully.
• Don’t speak to other people about your child’s problems without his permission. Their trust can be easily lost, and it takes a lot of time and energy to get it back.
Teenager’s reaction is rather exaggerated when you try to deny their freedom. They want to be independent, not governed by you for everything – permission to go out, pocket money, etc.
Independence of your child is integral and normal stage in a growing process. He may have mixed feelings about you, but he will always be in need for your unconditional love and support.
When your child eventually matures, you will laugh together at all the differences you have had. Therefore, you should try to understand those and accept them, because the teenage period will end eventually.